have you ever had so much care and love surrounding you that youd think you couldnt want anymore or possibly get anymore, but its still not enough? well thats how i feel. i feel like i am nothing and i just wanna die sometimes cuz i am so empty. thats the only thing i have to say. love ya guys. *hugz* miss ya tracey. :(
ok as you can see i am in a very pissed off mood. i am sick of getting balmed for all this shit. i dont know who the fuck said that i ever said anything negative toward tracey but they have their fucking info wrong. i dont fucking get it. after 3 goddamn years of best friendship rumors get listened to and believed??? I would never hurt tracey. i love tracey more than ALLEN ever will and fucking deny it all you want but i do. tracey saved my fucking life and for that i view her as a goddess. OH and another thing i DID call tracey numerous times just because, one of which i was crying and she did 3way with ALLEN no she made ME do 3way with allen.....does anyone remember that??? oh and i kept fucking calling her wanting to spend the night with her....but i never got to. instead i sat the majority of my fucking summer in tears wondering why my fucking best friend wasnt talking to me when i called or why she was never around. i finally gave up. OH and for all those damn ppl that think julia is all fine and dandy she fucking called tracey a BITCH no a fucking bitch right in my house.!!! and she also told me that in her homeroom TIARA, another one of tracey's saints, said that tracey is being with allen and avoiding all of us on purpose cuz she hates us all. NO i am NOT making this shit up unlike some fucking insecure idiot who is trying to get tracey to hate me. AND someone, not to mention any names to keep them safe for the moment, thinks that tracey is making all this bull shit up cuz she hates me. I am NOT jealous. I was sooooo fucking happy for tracey when she found allen. i knew how long she had wanted an irl bf and i was sooo damn happy when she got one. i like allen and despite all the false shit that has been going on, i STILL like allen and i hope he fucking never hurts tracey. there is no other person i would want more to be with her. she loves him and he loves her....thats what fucking matters. this is not a popularity contest to see who tracey likes more. and if i am not her "best" friend then oh well ill deal. i care sooo fucking much about tracey and nothing will ever take that away!!!!. if tracey wants me to fucking die ill die. she deserves it. she is one of like 2 or 3 ppl i would ever do that for. so i sugguest that allen quit saying shit about me and rachel. and tracey, im really sorry about that. i know how close you and rach were. if i could do something i would, but unfortunately i cant. if something ever happens you can always call me, ill ALWAYS be here no matter what!!!
love and miss you soo much. i hope you are ok. plz write to me. bye Current Mood: pissed off